


strawberry fields

by a-waste-of-time-and-hot-glue (falloutboiruto)



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Ficlet, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Loss of loved one, Moving On, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:27:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24165853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/falloutboiruto/pseuds/a-waste-of-time-and-hot-glue
Summary: Sometimes, Pearl would think back on the Gem War.
Relationships: implied past pearl/rose quartz
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	strawberry fields

_i._ _but we won!_

Sometimes, Pearl would think back on the Gem War. And when she held Rose’s hand, it almost seemed worth it. Rose said so, after all, with a waver to her voice and a sideways glance that implied that she wasn’t telling the truth. As if she was trying to convince herself most of all.

They both were, Pearl supposed.

 _ii._ _and now, she’s gone_

Fighting for the survival of the life on Earth had always come secondary to Pearl. The bloodshed and mayhem had taken place on luscious hills were littered with juicy fruit that the likes of Pearl would never enjoy eating. Eating seemed more of a human pleasure, and what did Pearl care about humans? What did Pearl care about fields, forests, mountains? Rivers, seas?

No, it was all for _her_.

And after _she_ was gone, all the fields, forests, mountains turned barren. The rivers and seas started frothing with toxic sludge.

But Pearl was still here, somehow.

_iii. why did I do it?_

Without Rose’s hand to hold, everything came crashing down. Pearl’s careful and deliberate compartmentalization of everything that had happened didn’t work quite as well anymore. She started lashing out at the smallest irregularities and obsessing over the most miniscule of details.

Sometimes, she was in the strawberry fields again. A very long time ago. War-times. They had won, but at what cost? Their allies and comrades— fallen, shattered, broken. Or worse.

In times of peace, it seemed almost unimaginable that she had once been that soldier. She couldn’t understand, and barely wanted to. It was easier to go back to scrubbing the floor clean again for the fourth time that day, to start bickering with Amethyst again, to micro-managing Steven again—

_iv. a mess without her guidance/after all the tears that I cried_

She remained stagnant, never moving forward. Stuck in the past. It didn’t work, not at all actually, and so, she changed.

She didn’t do it for Rose. She did it for herself.

_v. here we are in the future_

Sometimes, she would visit the strawberry fields again. Despite her lack of need for oxygen she breathed in the fresh air. She stared into the distance, strawberry plants adorned with white flowers stretching as far as the eye could see, buzzing bees hovering around them. They were quite lovely, really, once she really looked at them.

But she couldn’t stay out looking at plants all day. Her family at home needed her, too.

**Author's Note:**

> pls leave kudos and comments if u like dis!!


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